The Innocence Inside
by Maniac Tenshi Makenshi
Summary: Maybe it was psychological, maybe magical, how Crona was literally two people now. She didn't know for sure. She only knew it was time to really face herself, for the first time since her breaking point.
1. The Innocence Inside

**The Innocence Inside**

-x-x-x-x-

**A/n:** Here's something I wrote yesterday that I've secretly wanted to write for quite a while. You might see more where this came from. I like characters interacting with themselves, quite literally. As I usually do, this is female Crona. Questions? Check it on my profile.

**Key**: Crona and C**h**rona are two different beings _sort of_.

**Disclaimer: **The owner of _Soul Eater _is Atsushi Ōkubo. _Clandestine_ belongs to me, _**Sakumie Tenshi**_. I gain nothing material by writing this and do it solely for fun.

**Beta reader: **N/A

-x-x-x-x-

It was hard to explain... This certainly wasn't the best way to handle the situation with just freezing up, but Crona couldn't piece together how exactly she'd been divided into two people, one being the calmer and less timid side of her persona, the other being deprived and frankly psychotic. She struggled to breath. What was happening? The "disturbed" side of her was...kissing her. She'd heard of self-love, but this was ridiculous. And why so forward? Of course, she would be a bit bolder without the strain of anxiety weighing her down, but it wasn't her doing the initiating.

The darker side of herself, Chrona, sighed heavily, a pained sound, and leaned against the brighter person. "Can it just be us again?" Chrona whispered, not facing her other self.

"Us? What do you mean?"

"...when you asked me questions? When I wasn't so bad... I've always been bad but...I was better when I talked to you."

"But you were only talking to yourself..." Was this some sort of mind-trick? Had she gone so far into madness she'd built her defense mechanism into a vision of reality?

Chrona's ragged breath hit Crona's black-clad shoulder in another tired display, before the dark one replied, "I don't care. I don't care about sane or insane. What does it matter?" Her grip tightened around the waist of the lighter one. "What does any of it matter in loneliness? I want this to stop, I want it to end, I want something...like it was...just a little simpler. I wish I'd never...met them." The calm Crona resisted the urge to sigh. She knew what was going on through her other self's mind exactly and how she regretted learning how different life could be only to not be able to keep that life. "Let's go back... Just us, alone. Not even Ragnarok bothering us..."

"You've already fallen so far... It's been so long I'm surprised I even still exist. I kept waiting...for you to find me again, but you kept burying me deeper, under so much hate and pain... I feel sick. I can't just return, not like this. You have to change." Though she hadn't returned the hug to her, Crona made the attempt now, only to be pushed away.

"Change?" Chrona began, eyes widening. "You want to tell me about _**change? **_That's what I'm doing! That's why I have to do this!"

She wasn't going to understand, her calmer self realized. Of course she wasn't. She was too far gone for a simple statement to break through. Crona gently grabbed her frantic self and placed a kiss at the corner of her mouth, instantly stilling her. It was the strangest concept, yet she felt that if anyone should do it, she had to be the first to love herself. No one else would be able to if she couldn't. Who would have guessed it to become so literal...?

Crona didn't mind being pushed to the floor or threatened. She didn't mind seeing her own jet-black eyes staring with so much empty hatred into her pale blues. She didn't even mind it when the screaming became crying and the crying became sniffles, then timid looks. It must have lasted quite a while, and still, Crona didn't mind. Not even when her lips met those of her darker self in the oddest show of acceptance. Chrona's hands grabbed her calmer self's arms tightly, to the point of bruising, but there wasn't a sound of complaint. The soft kisses became unusually desperate. And still, she didn't mind. It was time to stop running. It was time to accept things by any method she could suffice.

* * *

**I regret nothing.**

**Reviews are appreciated for the starving creative mind.**


	2. The Light Inside

**The Light Inside**

-x-x-x-x-

**Author's Note:** This is The Innocence Inside told from the perspective of the "lighter" Crona.

**Disclaimer: **The owner of _Soul Eater_is Atsushi Ōkubo. This work of fiction is composed entirely by me_._ I gain nothing material by writing this and do it solely for fun.

-x-x-x-x-

It's hard to explain... It certainly isn't the best way to handle the situation with just freezing up, but what am I supposed to do? Suddenly I'm split into two sides. I'm calmer and less timid than the regular Crona, like the rare times I've felt really comfortable around Maka and everyone. I stare at myself. Only this version of me is the anxious and deprived side and frankly psychotic.

I struggle to breath. What's happening?The disturbed side of me is..._kissing_ me. I've heard of self-love, but this is ridiculous. And why so forward? Of course, I _would_ be a bit bolder without the strain of anxiety weighing me down, but I'm the calmer half right now, like the shadow in my soul world, and I'm not the one who started it.

Once she stops kissing, the darker side of me sighs heavily. It's a pained sound that makes me frown a little. She leans against me and whispers without facing me, "Can it just be us again?"

"Us? What do you mean?" I a little confused and curious. It makes me realy sad to see myself like this, but I have to be the better person. I have to make her feel better, like I should have done before. But it's always so crowded in my head... It's always so unpleasant and I don't know how to deal with anything anymore... I know that's why it's come to this.

"...when you asked me questions? When I wasn't so bad... I've always been bad but...I was better when I talked to you."

I frown. "But you were only talking to yourself..." What's going on? Is this some sort of mind-trick? Have I gone so far into madness that this is some kind of a defense mechanism like those split-personalities? Am I hallucinating? Then why am I like two different people right now? I don't get it...

Her ragged breath hits my black-clad shoulder in another tired display, making me shiver uncomfortably. "I don't care." she continues, "I don't care about sane or insane. What does it matter?" Her grip tightens around my waist. "What does any of it matter in loneliness?! I want this to stop, I want it to end, I want something...like it was...just a little simpler. I wish I'd never...met them."

I resist the urge to sigh. I know what's going on through my other self's mind exactly; how she regrets learning how different life can be only to not be able to keep that life. I know that pain too, because it's _our _pain. "Let's go back..." she says, "Just us. Alone. Not even Ragnarok bothering us..."

Then I get it. I am her, but I'm the little shadow. This has never happened before, being able to have a conversation with myself. I know what to say. "You've already fallen so far... It's been so long I'm surprised I even still exist. I kept waiting...for you to find me again, but you kept burying me deeper, under so much hate and pain... I feel sick. I can't just return, not like this. You have to change." Though I hadn't returned the hug to her, I make the attempt now, only to be pushed away. She doesn't like my answer.

"Change?" she starts, eyes widening. "You want to tell me about _**change?! **_That's what I'm doing! That's why I have to do this!"

She isn't going to understand, I realize. Of course she isn't. Crona's too far gone for a simple statement to break through. I gently grab my frantic other half and place a kiss at the corner of her mouth. She instantly goes still. It's strange, but I feel like if anyone should do it, I have to be the first to love myself. No one else can be able to if I can't. Who would have guessed it to be so literal though...?

I don't mind being pushed to the floor or threatened. I don't mind seeing my own jet-black eyes staring with so much empty hatred at me. I don't even mind it when the screaming becomes crying and the crying becomes sniffles, then timid looks. It goes on like this for a while, and I still don't mind. Not even when my lips meet those of my darker side, and I somehow know she's accepting me. I'm accepting myself.

Her hands grab my arms tightly, to the point I think they're bruising, but I don't complain. The soft kisses become unusually desperate, and I just let her do what she feels is right. She needs this I think. It's time to stop running. It's time to accept things by any method we can get.


End file.
